


4 AM

by ApparentlyAda



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I'm Sorry, Iwaizumi is Oikawa and Ushiwaka Trash #1, M/M, Multi, Oikawa and Ushijima talk about dogs, this is so stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 19:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9004690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApparentlyAda/pseuds/ApparentlyAda
Summary: "Ushiwaka.""Yes?""What if one day you woke up as a chicken?""What if one day you shut the fuck up?", interrupts Hajime groggily.(Or, simply put, the awful(ly amazing) conversations these three dorks have during sleepless nights)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is like, really bad, sorry lmao. ~~I wrote it in about an hour at 4 am, so.~~ Also this was a gift for the HQ Secret Santa for Tenshi (obliqueophidian on Tumblr). Check them out, they're really cool! :)  
>  Merry Christmas, fam!

It's 4 am when they have the most meaningful conversations.

Sandwiched between Tooru and Wakatoshi, Hajime usually accidentally starts them off while shuffling about, in need of air. It's all it takes to get Tooru to start talking. The record for the most time passed between his waking up and his talking was, last time Iwaizumi checked, twenty minutes - Yes, that's how bad it is. And then Wakatoshi would start as well, cue the bickering (all he needs is a simple "Why are we around in this universe?" and he'll start theorizing with Oikawa). It's surprising how easily these two discuss like that, considering Ushijima's logical mind. But that's where his theories balance Tooru's out, after all. Then Hajime would probably start in as well, trying to get them to sleep and fail - It all ended up in the same pattern and, to be completely honest, nobody minded it.

 

It's the same tonight.

"Iwa-chan."

"Not now, Oikawa. What fucking time is it anyway?"

"...Four in the morning."

"Jesus fuck, just let me sleep."

"Ushiwaka."

"Yes?"

"What if one day you woke up as a chicken?"

"What if one day you shut the fuck up?", interrupts Hajime groggily.

"Rude, Iwa-chan! Now, Ushiwaka, answer my question please."

"Well for once, I'd be an incredibly confused chicken. But then I'd recall all the techniques of cultivating food I've learned and be able to somehow farm my own feed."

"How would you do that, though? With your beak?", asks Oikawa sarcastically.

"Yes. I do believe I'd be quite skilled at farming with a beak if I were to turn into a chicken."

"Jesus Christ, just go to sleep, both of you."

"Join us, Iwa-chan. Tell us what you'd do if you woke up as a chicken."

"I'd go the fuck to sleep, which I advise you two to do as well before I hit you."

For a moment, everything is silent. Iwaizumi feels like he can finally get a decent night's sleep. Then, Oikawa happens.

"I think I'd actually try to find an owner or someone to feed me."

Damn it.

"But Oikawa, wouldn't that mean they might also make various cuisine out of you?"

"God bless, just let him become a chicken and become food, I don't care, just let me get my damn sleep", tries Hajime one more time.

"Nope. I'd go to a vegan farmer", comes Tooru's reply, completely ignoring Iwaizumi's struggle.

"Why the fuck would a vegan farmer even _have_ chicken then, dumbass?"

Iwaizumi's given in. He's gonna be taking part in the conversation, maybe like that they'll get bored to death and fall asleep for once.

"Well, I'd be a beautiful chicken! I'm not like those _brutish_ ones, Iwa-chan, I'd be gracious and a joy to have as a pet chicken!"

Despite himself, Hajime starts wheezing. "Y-You'd be "a joy to have as a pet chicken"? Oh my God."

Ushijima seems to be completely beside the point, not knowing what exactly he's supposed to say. Then, he opens his mouth and speaks:

"What about you, Iwaizumi? What would _you_ do if you turned into a chicken?"

Great. Now Ushijima's also emotionally invested in this conversation.

A deep sigh. " _Just entertain them_ ", he thinks, defeatedly.

"I'd probably remain in this house and eat whatever leftovers you guys always leave. It's enough to feed a fucking army of chickens, honestly."

Tooru puts his hand on his chest dramatically, pretending to be offended. "Rude! We don't leave _that_ much food, anyway!"

Iwaizumi gives him the side-eye. "You do. You really do."

Ushijima looks like he wants to say something, but is holding back. He looks almost confused, but that might just be the dim lighting playing on his face. 

"Did you want to say something, Ushijima?", asks Hajime. He already knows that Wakatoshi's had it harder to get adjusted to whatever they're doing - Tooru and him had been already dating by the time Ushi joined them. Cue his general bluntness being slightly reduced and replaced with some weird form of...shyness(?).

"I just wanted to note that a good way of dealing with leftovers would be getting a dog."

A squeal from Oikawa pierces the calm atmosphere they'd been lying in.

"Yes yes yes! Iwa-chan, let's get a dog! We could get a terrier! Or a bichon! Or...Ooh! What if we got a chihuahua?"

"No", comes Hajime's blunt reply.

"I'd rather suggest we get a golden retriever or a labrador. They are very reliable dogs."

"Yes, that sounds nice too! Or a Collie!"

Despite his urge to kick both of them so he can sleep, Iwaizumi can't help but gaze fondly at his two lovers, who were by now excitedly discussing what dog breed they should get. The light from outside was playing nicely on Ushijima's face, sharpening his features. He somehow looked more honest, more open than usual - Throughout Oikawa and his excited blabbering, Iwaizumi could even notice a small smile appearing on his face, only to disappear milliseconds later. As for Tooru, who was by now propped up over Iwaizumi on one elbow in order to speak better to Ushiwaka, somehow occupying the whole bed, the light made him look almost ethereal. Long eyelashes were accentuated by the soft light from outside, brown eyes somehow glowing even more than usual.

"C'mon, can we _please_ get a dog, Iwa-chan? Please? Ushiwaka wants us to get one too!", whines Oikawa, pleading eyes aimed at Ushijima, to support his statement.

"I _would_  enjoy owning a dog..."

Iwaizumi lets out an exasperated sigh. 

"Be decent human beings and I'll consider getting us one for Christmas."

Yet another squeal from Oikawa pierces the air. 

"Well then Merry Christmas to me, you and Ushiwaka, because we're totally getting a dog!"

"I didn't promise anyth-" A look towards the two is enough. "Ah, fuck it. Merry Christmas, trashbag, Ushijima."

"Hey!"

"Feliz Navidad to you guys too."

Oikawa giggles.

"What?!", asks Iwaizumi, still cranky from his abandoned sleep.

"Feliz Navi _daddy_."

Hajime groans. "You're Feliz Navi _dead_ to me."

 

And somehow, in that moment, everything seemed alright. No worries about the following day, no worries about how the fuck they were going to fit a labrador in their small apartment, just the pure contentment of being together. And Iwaizumi knew, right then, that no matter how many sleepless nights he has to deal with, it's all worth it in the end.


End file.
